


Shadowcast

by TheCrabLord



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-03-14 10:23:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13588071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrabLord/pseuds/TheCrabLord
Summary: Living in a small apartment in Champaign, Illinois with a quiet roommate is pretty comfortable. You get used to life as you attend classes at the UofI, work from home, and go through your transition into the man you are- but meeting a law major in your drama class really throws you off, especially when you're assigned to teaching him the most basic of acting techniques.





	1. Chapter 1

You fixed your short (h/c) hair as you entered the drama classroom. The teacher stood at his desk and turned as you approached him. Letting out a quick huff you smiled and introduced yourself.

“Hey, I’m (d/n) (l/n). I’m going to be in your class this semester. I wanted to talk to you about something before class,” you said, sticking your hands in the pockets of your leather jacket.

“It’s the first day,” the teacher said with a light laugh, “What could it possibly be?”

“I was hoping you could refer to me in class by (y/n) instead and use masculine pronouns for me.”

He smiled. “I can do that, no problem! I’ll make a note on the roster.”

You let out a relieved sigh. “Great. Thank you.” You exchanged nods and you went to find a seat. The classroom was laid out as a black box theater, with a small stage and rows of seats facing it. At the very back of the classroom behind the audience was a long counter with a desk space and a stage board. You found someone sleeping in the back row of the class- he had black hair up in a short ponytail and a satchel in his lap.  _ “Hey, if he sleeps every day then there’s no risk of conversation,”  _ you thought to yourself, taking a seat beside him and tucking your bag under the seat.

A few minutes later, the teacher propped open the door to the room and people started to file in. You watched everyone’s mannerisms closely, trying to gauge what they’ll be like on the stage. A girl with short pink hair walked in, you pegged her as the smart independent woman. Following behind her trying to get her attention was a shaggy blond in a bright orange hoodie- he  _ had _ to be the goofball. There was also a really cute girl with a long ponytail and great style.  _ “Popular girl, nice,”  _ you thought. There was another girl with twin buns and a serious expression on her face and finally after everyone else there was a heavier boy who walked in looking around the room. You tried to place him, but instead he made eye contact with you and smiled.

_ “Oh god he’s heading right for me!” _ You panicked for a moment, looking away and trying to grab your bag without looking like you were running from a fire. He passed you by entirely and instead sat next to the sleeping boy. While everyone settled the teacher shut the door and headed up to the front of the room, hopping up to sit on the front of the stage.

“Alright class, first things first. I don’t want you to call me ‘professor’ or ‘mister’ anything. You can call me Jiraiya. Now, I’m gonna call roll. Just say ‘here’.”

As he called through the roll, you watched around and put names to faces.

“Shikamaru?”

“Huh? What?” The voice came from the boy next to you as he woke with a start. The boy you now know as Choji snickered next to him. “Sorry. I’m here,” the raven-haired boy said.

“Alright. Aaand (y/n), you’re here. Great! Now, let’s get started. I’m going to hand out some scripts that we’re going to go over. The schools underfunded so I couldn’t print enough copies for everyone so you’re going to have to share.”

“What a drag,” you heard Shikamaru mutter under his breath. You smiled to yourself at his frustration. You took a script from Jiraiya and passed it silently to your neighbor. When you turned back to grab your own, the white haired man was already at his desk setting up the projector. You huffed under your breath.

“Hey, Shikamaru, I think we have to share with them,” Choji said, gesturing to you.

“I can go sit with someone else-”

“Dude, it’s fine. We can share,” Shikamaru said. The corner of your mouth perked up a bit at the word ‘dude.’ You shrugged your shoulders and leaned over to peer at the script.

\-----

The whole class sat staring wide-eyed at the scripts in their hands.

“Are we actually going to perform this?” somebody asked.

“I wrote it just for this semester’s class, so yes!” Jiraiya said with a grin. “Now, class is about to end, so I’ll cast you quick. Sakura, Ino, you two are the ladies whose gossip moves the story forward. Tenten, you are the royal lead’s lovely guard, Choji you’re the criminal lead’s trusty sidekick, and Naruto-”

“Am I the royal lead?!”

“No, Naruto. You’re the foolish trickster trying to get the four main characters with the wrong people.” Naruto pouted and slunk down into his seat.

Shikamaru raised his hand. “Uh, Jiraiya, doesn’t that just leave me and (y/n)?”

“You’re exactly right Shikamaru. You are the roguishly handsome thief after (y/n)’s gold, but instead steal their heart to find it’s much more valuable.” You sat tense in your seat, trying to keep the blood from pooling in your cheeks.

This was going to be a long semester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (D/n) - dead name


	2. Chapter 2

“No, do it  _ again _ ! This time with sensuality!” cried Jiraiya, slamming his script on the desk. Shikamaru threw his hands up in the air and let out a grunt of frustration.

“I don’t think he knows how,” teased Ino. Shikamaru pointed at her with a glare and she put her hands up defensively.

You sat with your head in your hands, waiting for class to be over. You had been going over Shikamaru’s lines all period. Not for bad reason of course, he was absolutely terrible. You sighed and checked your watch.  _ “Ten more minutes,”  _  you thought to yourself.

“(y/n)!” Jiraiya called, making you snap up. “I’m assigning you and Shikamaru to practice together. I’ll pair the rest of you up, but for right now our main priority is you, Shikamaru. Everyone else come see me and then you can go.”

Shikamaru jumped down from the stage, pulling a notepad from his pocket and writing something down. He stopped in front of you and handed you the piece of paper as he grabbed his satchel.

“Here, this is my number. Text me at eight tonight and we’ll figure something out,” he said bluntly. Before you could respond he turned on his heel and left. You sighed and looked at the piece of paper in your hand, crumpling it up in your fist and tucking it in your jacket pocket. Choji leaned over to you.

“Don’t take it too personally, he’s not a bad guy once you get to know him,” he said and smiled, “I’d know, I live with the guy.” You chuckled and stood up, pulling your bag out from under the seat with your boot and picking it up.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” came your reply. You exited the drama room, taking a breath of fresh air. You pulled out your phone and put your earbuds in. Humming to your music as you walked along, you found your roommate crouched near a fence segment in the student parking lot.

“Hello, (y/n),” he said to you, standing up with a ladybug on his hand.

“Hi Shino. Are you ready to head home? I’ll drive so you don’t have to worry about your lady friend,” you joked. However, he nodded and tossed you his keys anyway.

The drive felt much longer than it was.

When you got home, you set your bag down and kicked your boots off into their designated cubby; Shino did the same as he walked in behind you. Meaning to speak to him, you turn and open your mouth but before you can say anything he makes a beeline for his room and shuts the door.

\-----

You wrapped up your homework with a sigh. As you put your textbook back in your messenger bag and noticed the time on your watch.  _ “8:01, just in time.” _ you thought as you pulled out your phone and reached into your jacket on the back of the couch. You punched in the number and sent a message.

**“hey its (y/n) when do you wanna meet up”**

You set your phone down on the coffee table and stared at it.  _ “What. Have I done,”  _  you thought to yourself. Silent and unmoving, your phone sat there. You sat waiting for what seemed like ever. In the time it took for you to receive a response you managed to organize both the kitchen and the bathroom, make and eat dinner, and paint your nails. Just as you finally sat back down in the living room you heard that familiar jingle that meant you had a message.

**“Sorry, I fell asleep. Send me your address and I’ll stop by after my morning class tomorrow. Sometime around 11am.”**

**“ok i live in the complex at 731 wolf st im in bldg c apt 34”**

**“Good news, that’s only a block away.”**

**“alright see you then!”**

With a sigh you rested your phone-holding arm on your chest.  _ “Ugh, my heart is pounding. This is gonna be awful! This guy seems like a real stick in the mud,”  _ you whined internally.  _ “I better tell Shino that I’m gonna have company.” _ You got up off the couch and tapped lightly on your roommate’s door.

“Hey, Shino? I’ve got a classmate coming over tomorrow morning. I’ve gotta help him get his act right so-”

You were interrupted by a piece of paper being slid under the door. When you flipped it over, it was a crude drawing of you covered in centipedes.

“Thanks Shino.”

You hear a muffled ‘you’re welcome’ come from the other side of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

You rolled onto your face and slapped a hand down on the off button of your alarm. Laying with your chin dug into your pillow and your eyes squinted shut you sighed heavily. You were definitely not looking forward to today. You begrudgingly rolled out of bed and picked your jeans off the floor and put them back on. Too tired to find a shirt you walked out into the living room of the apartment topless, your near-nonexistent breasts more resemblant of pecs. The living room that you found was not your normal living room. The entertainment center was dusted, your jacket was on the coat rack, the floor was swept and mopped. But most importantly, you could see a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen. You smiled softly and went over to the machine, finding a note on the counter.

**“(y/n), I’ll be back from the park at 3:00pm. Don’t light any incense or candles, it disturbs the spiders. If any of my bugs are missing you’re paying this month’s rent by yourself.”**

You put the note back down and rolled your eyes before checking your watch. It read 10:37.  _ “Alright. Quick cup of coffee and then a shower before he gets here.”  _ Suddenly your phone buzzed.

**“I’m stopping to get coffee on the way. How do you take yours?”**

You stared at your phone in confusion. Why was he getting you coffee? Probably just a friendly gesture for helping him out. Not like you’d ever turn down a free drink anyway.

**“light and sweet iced thx”**

Tossing your phone on the couch you headed to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. You always kept the lights off when you showered, not wanting to see your naked body in the mirror. It had been long enough however that you maneuvered just fine. You knew where your shampoo was, where your lufa was, etc. However, as you washed your body in the cold water, you still felt warm.

_ “My heart is pounding again. It better just be the hormones making me think about him this way,”  _ you thought to yourself. Your hands shook as you washed your body, trying not to think about him. Making the water colder did nothing to stop the thoughts and you continued to run your hands over your body. Your blood turned to ice suddenly.  _ “If he does see me as a man he won’t like me. But If he does like me it won’t be the real me.” _

You got out of the shower quickly and dried yourself off, patting at your eyes with the towel so you nobody could see that you were crying. You took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before flicking on the light and turning to the mirror. You looked at your chest and noted that you had gone down in size a bit. Your jaw had squared a bit as well, albeit it was still smooth. Sliding into your boxers, you heard a knock at the door. You swore under your breath as you tugged your pants on hastily and threw the towel over your shoulders to cover your chest. You ran out and answered the door.

“Hey, sorry, I just got out of the shower. Come in, make yourself at home,” you said, exasperated. You stepped aside as you pulled the door open, your classmate nodding to you and putting a coffee in your hand. “Thanks.” You shut the door. Shikamaru looked around and you shuffled your feet. “Sorry it’s not much.”

“Hey, any place with a couch is good enough for me,” he said. You sipped your coffee and let your shoulders relax a little bit. “So how do you want to do this? Do you want to act first and I’ll mimic or what.”

“I thought first we would practice lines.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “I memorized my lines last night. That’s no problem. It’s just that, apparently, I’m not emotive enough.”

“Okay, then we’ll pick a scene and go over it and I’ll give you some pointers.”

“Works for me.”

\-----

 

Shikamaru dragged his hand down his face. “This is such a drag. Why couldn’t I have just gotten a side part.”

“You’re doing just fine..”

“I almost choked on my last line.”

“Okay, so, not great. You’re trying, though,” you shrugged. Shikamaru sat with his elbows on his knees and a cup of coffee in his hands.

“This is hopeless, (y/n). Just admit it, I’m not an actor.” You looked at him with disappointment. Plopping down on the couch next to him you put a hand on his shoulder.

“Listen. Shikamaru. What you need is inspiration. You gotta draw from the classics! Here, I’ve got some on dvd. Next time we get together we’ll watch a couple. We’ll start with movies and work into musicals. How does that sound?”

“Absolutely awful,” he said with a hint of a smile. You grinned and patted his back.

“You already sound like an actor.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey whats up this chapter was sitting half-done since last july so here i am with my ninja clan sorry if it seems rushed ive been working on this on and off all month also what do you guys want more of out of this story? I didnt exactly have a plot layout for this ive just been going where my heart takes me (sorry if the indents are messed up im uploading from my phone ill fix it later)

It had been about three weeks since your first meeting with Shikamaru. You had already been through classic movies and it was finally time for musicals. You had your favorites set up; Grease, Chicago, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You laid them out on the coffee table and went to the mirror. You smoothed out your hair a bit and leaned in close to examine the fuzz starting to come in on your face.  _ “I’ll have to buy a razor soon,” _ you noted. With a shrug you went back into your room to get dressed, throwing on a pair of grey gym shorts and a black tank top. As a last thought, you put your packer on. It was around 7 so you wanted to be in something comfortable in case you fell asleep on the couch. Your phone buzzed.

**“I’ll be there in 5. Bringing leftovers.”**

**“u know ur like the best friend ever right”**

You smiled and laid back on the couch. You looked forward to Shikamaru’s visits; After he found out you and Shino live off of instant ramen and mac and cheese he would bring over some of Choji’s cooking. Choji was going to culinary school and doing classes at your school on the side. The first time you had Choji’s cooking you cried- it had been your first real meal since you left home.

You were snapped out of your thought by a knock at the door. Wiping the drool from your mouth you let your friend in. While headed to set up the movies, he went to the kitchen and made you a plate.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” you called.

“Pulled pork. No slaw, cause I know how you are,” he said as he sat down and set the plate in front of you. You put a hand over your heart and pursed your lips.

“Oh how sweet of you, Shikamaru,” you teased. He nudged you with his shoulder and leaned back into the couch with his hands behind his head. You took a bite of the pulled pork and it melted in your mouth, the flavor hitting you in waves. You wolfed down the sandwich as if your life depended on it. When you swallowed the last bite you sunk down into the seat of the couch and patted your belly. You turned to look at your friend, finding him staring at you with a coy smirk. “What’re you lookin’ at? Haven’t you ever seen a man enjoy food before?”

Shikamaru laughed lightly. “Choji is the only other person I’ve seen get this amped over food. You act like you haven’t eaten anything all day.” 

“Well I  _ have _ . I had uhhhh…” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at you. You averted your eyes to the floor and continued with “I had a six piece mcnugget from a few days ago that I found in the fridge.”

Shikamaru put his hands together under his nose, as if praying for your stupid ass. “And did you eat these mcnuggets at four in the morning?” You nodded and he let his breath out through his nose. “Alright, grab your movies, we’re going back to my place so you can eat real food. There’s this thing, it’s called a vegetable.”

“What are you, my mom?” you teased as you stood from the couch and gathered your DVDs. 

The walk to Shikamaru’s house was quiet, both of you simply enjoying the evening air. When you reached his apartment he led you inside and Choji looked up from the couch at you two with a mouthful of chips.

“Oh, hey, you finally brought your boyfriend over. Hey (y/n),” he mumbled through his food.

“Hey, just because he’s a thespian doesn’t make him gay,” Shikamaru joked. “But it does make him hungry.”

“Let me guess, 4 A.M. mcnuggets again?” Choji asked as he set his chips down and headed towards the kitchen. It was neat and organized, but the fridge was full. “How does a bbq turkey rice bowl sound?”

“Choji, you could feed me boxed macaroni and it would taste gourmet.” you blurted out.

“You are the saddest little boy I’ve ever met, just get over here and eat.”

And boy, did you eat.

\----------

_ Somewhere between Chicago and Rocky Horror, you and Shikamaru received the same e-mail from Jiraiya. It read: _

**_“Class,_ **

**** **_This may be the last you hear from me, as I’m behind on my deadlines and my publisher has hired an internet hitman to kill me if I don’t turn in this week’s chapter by midnight. There won’t be any class tomorrow, as I am currently balls deep in my typewriter._ **

**_-Xoxo, gossip girl.”_ **

_ After you finished shaking your heads in embarrassment, you decided to just stay at Shikamaru’s house. _

\----------

As the end of  _ Science Fiction / Double Feature  _ played its final note, you both sat back from the wild ride that is Rocky Horror. There was a silent moment of acceptance.

“Not gonna lie, Frank is kinda hot. I could get off to that.” Shikamaru said, nodding his head.

“Wow, gay. Me too though. I’d let him suck my dick, who cares?”   
“I’d suck his dick.”

“I’d suck your dick,” you said jokingly.

Shikamaru threw his arm around your shoulder and got close to you. “Oh yeah bro? You’d suck me off? Give me a li’l blowie?”

You put your hands on his face and wiggled your eyebrows. “Yeah homie I’d Ess your Dee. I’d charm your snake, dude.”

He put his lips ever closer to yours. “Oh yeah?”

Failing to keep your blush from spreading, you puffed out your chest. “You trying to start a game of gay chicken, man?”

“No.”

It was like the breath had been sucked out of him as he said it. He broke right after and pulled you into a deep kiss, from which you would never even think about pulling away. It was hot and needy. You tugged at hair and grabbed at jeans, both of your hips bucking sporadically. His hand started sliding down to your crotch and, in a panic, you grabbed both of his hands and pinned him underneath you.

“Man, you really weren’t joking about that BJ were you?” he said in a husky tone. You chuckled nervously, you weren’t exactly prepared. But after a brief and lust-hazed moment of thought, you decided that yeah you really weren’t joking.

You wanted this.  _ God,  _ you wanted this. All you could think about was touching and kissing this man, and him returning the favor to you. As you kissed down his body with shaky hands undoing his pants, you wondered if he could ever do the same to you. The testosterone had made your clit grow, and it was a throbbing reminder how long it’s been since you got off. You moaned around his shaft as you thought about bending him over. He tangled his hands in your hair and bucked his hips as he swore under his breath. His little moans and gasps only drove you further, swirling your tongue around his head and gripping his thighs.

He grit his teeth and let out a low growl. “(Y/n), I want you to swallow.”

_ “Ah, shit.”  _ Your heart skipped a little bit. You thought swallowing was hot for sure, but you’ve never actually done it. You’ve never actually done  _ this _ . But dammit, you were gonna try! You gave a small nod and it wasn’t long before he came in your mouth. You pulled away and swallowed, trying to stifle a gag, feeling proud of yourself.

However, when you peered down at him from between his legs, you saw the mess he had made all over his stomach. He sighed and threw an arm over his face.

“Honestly, I’m not even mad,” he muttered. Uncomfortable, you moved over to the edge of the bed and sat facing away so he wouldn’t see you blushing. You felt the bed shift as he grabbed tissues and cleaned himself up. “You could’ve told me you’d never done this before. I wouldn’t have asked.”

You fell back onto the bed with a huff and laid next to a sitting Shikamaru. “I mean, I wanted to. It was hot and I enjoyed myself, I just didn’t expect my first time to come so soon I guess? It’s not like I was saving it, I guess I just didn’t expect anyone to want me like that.”

“What? Man you’re a catch, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want you.” His words were genuine but it still felt wrong. Would he feel the same if he knew you were trans? It didn’t matter to you right now. The way he looked at you made you feel desirable.

You scooted up onto the bed and he laid down next to you. He gave you one of his rare smiles. Not his usual smirk, but a genuine smile. You smiled and looked into each others eyes for a brief moment before he coughed and looked away.

“Is this the part where we refuse to ask the other for post-nut intimacy?” you asked with a chuckle.

Shikamaru took off his shirt and tossed it across the room. You scoffed a little bit when you saw the little bars going through his nipples. Laying back down he said, “That depends on if you really think you have to ask.”

You fell asleep in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rainy night

You slowly drifted from your dream into a weightless feeling. You weren’t quite asleep, but nowhere near awake either. There was an embrace of plush cloth around you, and the pitter-patter of rain against the window softly made its way to you. You opened your eyes slowly, stretching with the assumption that the dawn’s orange glow would be coming in through the window.

What you found instead was a dark silhouette sitting on the bay window seat, surrounded with the dim light from a streetlamp outside. You laid still, quietly observing the man before you. He sat with his knees up towards his chest, his elbows resting on them. He stared out the window, his eyes fixed on the horizon. You glanced at the clock; It was a little past 3 AM. The light coming in softly illuminated his face. You could see every detail- the slight upturn of his nose, the furrow in his brow, and the hollowness of his eyes. You sat up without thinking.

“Shikamaru? What are you doing up?”

He didn’t move other than to look at you from the corner of his eye. His gaze shifted back to the street. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said plainly. You both sat for a moment in silence before you stood up and padded over to sit next to him. You let your eyes wander out the window as you felt an arm slip around your shoulder and pull you close. For a long time the two of you sat and listened to the rain, not saying anything. You felt yourself nodding off and shook your head. Shikamaru looked down at you. “You don’t have to stay up with me, you should sleep.”

You shrugged your shoulders and yawned. “You’re up, it’d be weird if I just went back to sleep,” you said matter-of-factly. Shikamaru let out a hum and looked back out to the street.

After a long pause he said, “Do you want a cup of tea?” You simply nodded in response and the two of you went quietly to the kitchen. Whispering about this and that, what tea would you like, how much sugar, etcetera. Fortunately for the both of you, Choji enjoys buying small appliances and keeps an electric kettle in the kitchen. Not long after, the two of you were sitting comfortably in Shikamaru’s bed, sipping green tea and listening to the rain. He put his arm around you once more; You blamed the warm feeling in your chest on the tea.

Once your tea was finished, you found yourselves laying in the dark, staring at the ceiling and talking about nothing and everything. You talked about your hopes and dreams. You talked about your worst fears. You talked about all the things that made you feel soft and warm. You talked for hours until you both started to drift off. As your eyes grew heavy and you lost touch with the world, you saw the sunrise start to peak over the horizon.

You could’ve sworn you heard someone whisper, “I think I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was listening to the 1am rain music from ACNL and i FELT LIKE WRITING SOME FILLER FLUFF so enjoy shikamarus insomnia  
> very short chapter


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming out doesnt need to be that hard when he already is wink emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am. so sorry this took so long. my depression was BAD and my motivation was LOW. i went through alot and was at the hospital ALOT since last chapter. but now that i pretty much had my depression surgically removed (i had an ovarian teratoma messing with my hormones) im gonna write the shit out of this story. itll be written. maybe not fast cause im still lazy as balls but!!! i have big plans!!! and i never would have gotten back on this if yall hadnt cared!!! if i have to write a reader insert for all my brothers and sisters out there then by god let me naruto shakespeare

The coming weeks had been uneventful. At least, they probably had. You were so distracted by the night you spent with Shikamaru, you had no idea if he really said what you thought he did. Regardless, the two of you still went about your acting lessons and nothing really changed. The two of you would laugh together and didn’t mind being close to each other. It was all so confusing to you. Your mind wandered as you walked down the street to the corner/drug store. You didn’t know if it was the right time to come out. You knew you didn’t need to come out at all, but if you wanted anything to happen you wanted to be out so maybe you could go further than last time. Your cheeks dusted pink.

_ “I guess, maybe, I could buy some condoms?”  _ you thought to yourself. You kicked yourself internally, as you had a few times before, for not using one the first time. Yet at the same time, were you ready to come out? You weren’t even really together in the first place, should you take that step first? As you wandered the few aisles, putting this and that in your basket, you thought hard about how to approach the situation. He’s obviously part of the LGBT community, so he should be more accepting right? Your hand hovered over a box of condoms. “ _ Fuck it,”  _ you thought. You tossed a box in your basket and a tube of astroglide for good measure.

And then you zoned out for a good 40 minutes and tuned back in, sitting on your couch.

You were brought back by a notification on your phone- a text from your sister. Your blood froze as you read through the short paragraph.

**“(y/n) i wanted to give you a warning. Mom and dad are gonna drive over tomorrow for a surprise visit to see how youre doing and stuff. I overheard them say that if you dont have everything together theyre gonna send you less money. As in like, if you dont have close friends or a bf (gf?) theyre gonna make you get a job so you see people outside of your classes. I wanted to give you time to prepare and everything cause i know you havent come out to them yet. Be good, stay safe, make sure your imaginary bf wears protection. Lov u big cat”**

You took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. Of all the things they’ve tried to pull, this has got to be the worst. Especially now, since you had already given away the last of your old self. It was going to be agony to stuff yourself into a pair of skinny jeans again.

_ “To be fair,”  _ you reasoned with yourself,  _ “dresses  _ **_are_ ** _ super comfy. Ah, but then i have to shave my legs. Do I have to wear makeup? Can I get by without it?” _

You slumped down into the couch cushion. You heard Shino shuffle out of his room quietly and come around the corner. He stopped and looked at you for a second through his sunglasses. You couldn’t see his eyes, but you knew the look he was giving you.

“No, they didn’t have any plain sun chips. I got you saltines though,” you stated before he could accuse you of poor memory.

“You’re upset.”

“What makes you say that?” you asked. You guess you didn’t know what the look was about after all.

“Tarantella was huddled in the corner of her tank away from the door, she knew you were stressed. So I came out to see if you were okay,” he said, his face softening. He sat on the couch next to you, his back straight and his hands folded in his lap. You obviously had his undivided attention.

With a sigh, you began with the obvious, “Well, my parents are coming to visit tomorrow without warning ‘cause they wanna make sure that I have friends or whatever... My sister said that if I don’t have some form of partner or evidence that I’m not a hermit, they’re going to send me less money and make me get a job. So, uh, might be short on rent ‘cause uh, the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is ol’ lefty here,” you joked, raising said hand with a sardonic wiggle. Smiling through the pain makes it easier for you to cope.

Shino clapped a hand on your shoulder gently and looked you in the eye, deadpan. “I don’t get it; but don’t worry, I have your back.”

While unexpected, it was nice to have this kind of reassurance; especially from Shino. He gave you a small nod and you returned a smile in kind. With another sigh, this time in relief, you stood and made your way back to your room, resigning yourself to the inevitable hell that is shaving.

Or at least you would have, had it not been for the buzzing of your phone vibrating in your pocket. To your surprise, it was Shikamaru. To your  _ even bigger _ surprise, it was Shikamaru sending you a selfie on Snapchat. It was almost renaissance in essence; the direction of the light source, the hand cast gently across his eyes, the contrast of light and dark- it made the whole picture swell with emotion.

That emotion however was ruined by the caption plastered across his bare chest, highlighted by the twinkle of his nipples, 

**“God I miss your mouth.”**

Your cheeks flushed as fire shot through your veins. Since that night he’s sent a few snaps like this and every time he does it drives you  _ crazy _ . You want so much to be able to send pictures back. Although you’ve sent pictures back before, you kept your boxers and hard packer on for them. But this time? This time you had just enough of the “Just Fuck It” spirit in you. You adjusted the lighting in your room and took a suggestive but not quite naked picture and planned the next few steps in your head.

**“Shikamaru…”**

Boy, how fast the response came. As sultry as his face can be, you didn’t mind that this shot had panned lower. His one free hand effortlessly tugging the waistband of his jeans down,  _ tantalizingly  _ close to fully exposing himself.

**“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”**

And suddenly your plan has been shoved ten steps ahead of where you thought you were. On the one hand, you were going to come to this point anyway. But on the other hand, there were so many more precautions you had planned. And yet, for some reason, you were so ready to throw caution to the wind. You stripped down completely and lay tangled in your sheets on your stomach. You let the perspective of your shot cascade down your back, capturing from your jaw to your rear, with your free hand tousling your hair. You added a filter and captioned it.

**“It may not be what you’re used to, but you asked for it.”**

Before he could respond, you rolled over onto your back, and set your hard packer in between your legs, the bright purple silicone standing out against your bare skin. Take picture, add filter, send picture, panic. Your mind immediately started racing. How will he respond? Will he ghost on you? Is he going to be turned off? What if he doesn’t accept-

**“Damn, hot-stuff, you got a harness for that?"**

_ Wow.  _

_ That’s his penis.  _

_ Huh. _

_ Okay. _

If you were any degree of confused or unprepared before, those knobs were turned so far past 10 they broke off the amp. He  **_really_ ** just sent a dick pic. An actual, honest-to-god, Damn It’s Bigger Than You Remembered dick pic. It took every ounce of strength you had to finish the conversation and go do what you needed to do. ‘Cause god  **_DAMN_ ** were you  _ soaked _ . Validation never turned you on so much.

By the time you actually finished shaving and preparing the house for the next day as well as taking care of “other business”, it was late and you were exhausted. Just as you were about to crawl into bed, a piece of paper slipped under the door. When you turned it over, it was a semi-realistic drawing of you with ladybug features. An arrow on the side pointed to a spot in the design with a note that said,  _ “Male ladybugs have an extra spot to separate them from the females.”  _ In smaller text below that, it said,  _ “(That’s actually false. The only distinction between males and females is that males are slightly smaller, but since I had nothing to use as a size comparison I went with the spot myth. I’m sure you understand what I’m implying regardless. Goodnight.” _

You smiled and let out a soft sigh. You slipped the drawing into a folder you kept on your desk, full of the drawings Shino has given you. With a soft feeling of relief, after the reassurance from your roommate and the acceptance from Shikamaru, you were able to sleep soundly for the first time in weeks. Through the night you dreamt of running with wild deer, and bathing in hot springs full of honey.

\-------

When you woke up to the sun shining in through your window and casting warmth over your body, you felt ready to face the day. You didn’t feel groggy at all, nor did your muscles ache like every other morning. There was a hanger on your door handle, with a pair of orange bermuda shorts and a navy blue, rolled-sleeve tee. It was perfectly balanced enough that you would feel comfortable without being too stereotypically masculine. You made a note to thank shino for the clothes. As you haphazardly applied eyeliner, you could have sworn you heard your parents in the living room. You looked at your clock and realized you overslept by about an hour. With a chain of expletives, you threw clothes on in a hurry.

_ “Did they let themselves in? I didn’t give them a key… Why do I smell toast? Well, if a stroke is how I go.”  _ Your mind was whirring and you practically burst out of your room. “Sorry I’m up so late, I didn’t mean to sleep in-”

You were met with your mom and dad, sitting across the couch from Shino. Your mom was laughing about something and Shino- goodness. He was more cleancut than normal. A nice shirt, hair combed, no sunglasses; was he smiling? There was breakfast on the table and you could smell coffee brewing in the kitchen. Before you could even process what was happening, Shino turned towards you and gave a small, almost unnoticeable nod.

“Good morning, lovebug.”


End file.
